is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
