dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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