I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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