He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
