there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
