this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
