I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
