i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
