great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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