dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
