Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
