He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
