Please, let me fuck your mom
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
