Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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