at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
