dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
