remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
