Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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