There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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