I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
