WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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