covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
