Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
