btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
