is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
