FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
