we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
