whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
