Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
