no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
