i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
