I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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