so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
