Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
