So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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