i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
