well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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