Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
