This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
