Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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