TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
