D3 body, D1 cock
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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