I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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