How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
