theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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