i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
