im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
