does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
