This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
