whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
